For writing a competent document, it is necessary to know a specific range of requirements and rules. A formal letter should be composed competently, without spelling, punctuation, and stylistic errors. It should have a clear structure, logical consistency, purity of thought, neutral tone, objectivity. The absence of such fundamental aspects, the presence of gross errors repulses the recipient, creates the impression of short-sightedness, illiteracy, and indifference to the addressee.
In this example, various types of errors can be noted: writing style, structure, tone of the letter, turns of phrases, and lack of a clear timeline. The letter should begin with the purpose for which it is written so that the recipient can understand the point of what happened. In this case, the beginning of the text is an abstract paragraph, where the essence of what occurred is not clear. The words “someone” and “something” are used; there is a reference to an inaccurate period in the past. There are incorrect expressions about other people, which are also not acceptable in official letters: the cops, rotten kids. The text is not constructive; it focuses on humiliating the children, their parents, displaying the author’s emotions rather than solving the problem. The sender also does not indicate various solutions but only writes that the police should arrest everyone who looks suspicious. This statement is not objective, and it is based on emotion, not logic. Furthermore, in the end, the writer does not provide his contact information where the recipient could contact him and discuss the issue in more detail and solve the problem more effectively.
Several steps need to be taken to improve this letter. The first is to build a clear structure that will help convey the essence of what is written. It should have an introduction to the situation that occurred, a clear description of the cause of dissatisfaction, constructive suggestions for resolving the issue, gratitude, and contact information. The letter’s tone should be corrected to neutral and non-judgmental and remove disrespectful language and emotional evaluations. The timeline of events should be consistent; the thought should be expressed clearly, briefly, and concisely. Thus, these measures will help improve the writing structure, make it understandable to the recipient and contribute to a respectful attitude both to the sender and his request.